Beginner Quests: John Smith Edition

As John waited in the checkout line, a stereotypical evil laugh ran out through the market. At the entrance was a man dressed up in spandex and a satellite for a mask. Figuring it was not his problem, John Smith began loading his items onto the conveyor belt at the register, ready to check out. Like a normal person would, the cashier ran away, with most of the rest of the store, trying to get away from the crazy satellite man. John placed one more item on the belt, looking at all the empty space there still was on the right. He patiently waited for the cashier to activate the conveyor so he could finish unloading his items. He picked up a tub of ice cream and started to read the nutrition facts to pass the time. The satellite man approached, shouting out with a pseudo-evil voice, "John Smith! Your time is up!"

The hero was starting to grow impatient. His ice cream was going to melt if the cashier didn't hurry up! Satellite Man crept closer, confused as to why he was being ignored, "John Smith? Do you want to die or something?"

John looked up from the belt, realizing the cashier had actually ran away. He turned to his right and saw the costumed villain, who seemed more concerned about John's mental state than anything else. Simply, John Smith answered, "No," to the villain's question.

"Oh," Satellite Man responded, "Well, you're going to after this!" He stomped his foot, getting in a squat position before he started yelling out, focusing on activating his mask's special ability. The tub of ice cream in John's hand suddenly weighed much more than it should have. Satellite Man was increasing the gravity in the area!

Of course, John was not phased by the ability. He set the ice cream in his shopping cart and sighed, looking around the grocery store for any employee that could help him. All the while, this crazy villain continued shouting as if he was constipated or something. Satellite Man, very confused by John's lack of action, asked, "Are you going to try to stop me? I can't keep this up all day, I'm almost out of batteries."

John Smith looked over at the satellite villain and spoke a single word, "Stop."

"Okay, if you say so," Satellite Man retaliated, standing upright and returning the gravity to normal. Just like that, the crisis was averted, but everybody was still hiding. They figured the villain was not done with his attack, but John just wanted to hurry up and get home. His ice cream was going to melt before he could even leave the store!

John was allowed to push his shopping cart home so he could transport all of the groceries in one trip. On his way back, a sixty year old man with some sports wear, most notably a baseball cap, approached the celebrity. "John Smith, do I have a proposition for you? I just seen your swing back there against that fella. Unreal, better than the greatest pitcher of all time. I think you'd be great on the Central City Royals baseball team, whatd'ya say? We need somebody like you on our team, we'd never lose a game!" John Smith kept walking, his eyes fixated directly ahead of him. He was too busy trying to figure out how he managed to punch that guy so hard. Sure, he'd basically lived in the gym since he became a 'hero,' but there is no way he should have been that strong just from that. Something else was going on there.

"You make a hard bargain, how about this," The geezer continued, "Right now we got one of the best batters in the league. If we make a trade to get another good batter, will you join our team? Come on, you can't turn that down!" Some of the people in John's fan crowd were starting to get angry at the old man for taking up their opportunity to chat with their hero, but the man persisted, "A-and we can buy you a mansion far away from all these folks. You won't have to worry about this big ole' crowd of people in a gated community, now would ya?" John took a deep breath, checking the time on his watch as he continued to lead the crowd down the street. He was just a few blocks away from his apartment at this point.

Everything the old man said to John went in one ear and out the other. He was still trying to figure out how he possibly could have gotten so strong just by working out. There are people who spend twice as much time as John does in the gym, yet he somehow gained super strength from it? It just did not make sense. Maybe everybody calling him a hero subconsciously woke up some dormant super hero genes in John's DNA. That almost sounded like something out of a sci-fi movie, though, so there was no way that was the case. The old man pleaded once more for John Smith to join the baseball team. He stopped outside his apartment complex, turned to the man, and gently said, "No thank you."

"Alright, I guess your hero duties are more important than baseball. But if you ever change your mind," The man fished around in his pocket before handing John a business card, "Here's my card. See ya around Johnny boy. You got a lot more potential than you think," The old man made his way through the crowd and, just like that, was gone.

Holding the card up, John stared at it, actually moved by the man's words, "Thanks," He responded quietly, even though the man had already left. Breaking free of his trance, John pulled out his keycard and scanned it, unlocking the door to his building. He pushed the cart in, letting the door swing shut on the crowd of wild fans that would stand around for hours on end waiting for him to leave again. Another successful trip to the grocery store! John plopped down on his couch, holding the small piece of cardstock paper with both hands.

'You got a lot more potential than you think,' The words echoed around John's emotionless head for minutes as he was lost in thought. Maybe this hero thing wasn't all a hoax after all.